There's No Place Like Edgewood!
We had a fabulous Talent Show this year, full of singing and dancing and cheering and skits. The only downside of our talented stage directors' excellent arrangement of acts: not enough time for jokes! And this year, you Edgewood kids gave me some great jokes! So here are the best that did not (and some that did) make it into our wonder-filled evening:
(I know, I got a whole lot more, but there's only so much room on the Internet for a blog post!)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time for the Talent Show!
-Caleb, 4th grade
Why did the skeleton only play the piano?
Because he had no organs.
-Susan, 1st grade
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
-David, 4th grade
What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
You look a bit flushed.
-Flora, 4th grade
What does a clock do when it is hungry?
It goes back for seconds.
-Sadie, 4th grade
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll!
-Ella, 5th grade
Why did the woman go outside with her purse open?
She expected some change in the weather.
-Kate, 5th grade
What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
-Arianna 5th grade
What do you put on when it's wet?
A coat of paint!
-Kyla, 4th grade
There's a horse on a 20 foot chain and it wants an apple that is 26 feet away. How can the horse get to the apple?
It can walk. I didn't say the chain was attached to anything else.
-Lolo, 5th grade
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede?
Bacon and legs
-William, 5th grade
What has one head, one foot, and four legs?
A bed.
-Emma, 4th grade
What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A baseball team.
-Jonathan, 3rd grade and Jacob, kindergarten
What has 0 feet, 3 tails, and lives in a bowl?
Three fish.
-Garrett, 3rd grade
Why did the man keep doing the backstroke?
Because he just ate and didn't want to swim on a full stomach.
-Harrison, 4th grade
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
The referee called a foul.
-Jonathan, 3rd grade and Jacob, kindergarten
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
There weren't any chickens back then.
-Carson, 3rd grade
Why did Jamie go the dance with a prune?
He couldn't find a date.
-Lily, 5th grade
What do you call a girl flea?
A fleamale.
-Riley kindergarten
What did Jack's beanstalk grow?
Climb-a-beans.
-Anne Marshall, 4th grade
What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.
-Hugo, 5th grade
Why do waiters like gorillas better than they like flies?
Have you ever heard a customer complain about a gorilla in their soup?
-Isabel 5th grade
Why can't you iron a four-leaf clover?
Because you shouldn't press your luck.
-Haley, 5th grade
What geometric figure is like a lost parrot?
A polygon
-Madelyn, 5th grade
When is a dog NOT a hot dog?
When it's pure bred.
-John, 5th grade
Did you hear the joke about the giraffe?
It's probably over your head.
-Merritt 3rd grade
What is the best thing to put in a chocolate cake?
Your teeth.
-Lily, 1st grade
What do you call a red monster sitting on a rock?
A red monster sitting on a rock.
-Lorelai, 4th grade
What do you call a red monster sitting on a rock?
Bob.
-Zoe, 4th grade
What do you call a red monster sitting in a chair?
Zoe just told you, his name is Bob.
-Zoe, 4th grade
What do you do when you want a vegetable?
You call a flower.
-Max, 3rd grade
What did the pennies say to their teacher?
That makes perfect cents.
-Greta, 2nd grade
What did the volcano say to the other volcano?
I lava you.
-Mae Beth, 3rd grade
What does a snowman eat for breakfast?
Frosted flakes.
-Claire, 3rd grade
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Smells like carrots.
-Mrs. Burgess, LEAD
Why don't grizzlies wear shoes?
Because they like their bare feet.
or
Because they like their feet bare.
-Jack, 3rd grade
What are soft, white visitors from Mars?
Martian-mallows.
-Alina, 3rd grade
How does a cat go down the motor speedway?
Meeeeeeeeee-oooow.
-Paige, 5th grade
What did the artist draw right before she went to bed?
The curtains.
Mrs. Castle, ART
Why do dragons sleep during the day?
So they can fight knights.
-Cathryn, 4th grade
Did you hear Yousef's joke about the broken egg?
Yes? It cracked me up, too!
-Yousef, 5th grade
Why aren't dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
-Gabby, 5th grade
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
"A" flat minor.
-Mr. McKibben, Mrs. McKibben's husband
Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?
They kept saying Bach, Bach, Bach.
-Chloe, 4th grade
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Ba-na-na-na-nahs.
-Ahmed Makik, 4th grade
And my two favorite jokes of the evening:
This from my husband, Mr. Woodruff:
What do vegetarian zombies say?
GGGGGGrrrrrrraaaaiiinnnsss
And this from 5th grader Will...a true genius as this is a totally original joke:
What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
Watch the board and I'll go through it again.
We've got talent all over Edgewood!!!
